Friday, October 31, 2003

 
(ps)

on a lighter note...it's totally halloween.

have a happy and a safe one. and if i'm gonna see you tonight, prepare to be blown away.

dun dun dun...
posted by the 'naut 3:24 PM

 
(finished)

i'm through with dating. no more. i've decided that i don't like it.

"but you're so young" you say.

yah yah, blah blah. that's a load of hooey. yes, i may be young but that doesn't mean that i have to love the mindless stupid ins and outs of dating. i think it's a waste.

some people say that you know if it's going to work with someone within the first five minutes. others say not so. i believe that you never know. at least i feel like i never know. i can know a guy ten minutes or three years and still think "it could work...i could make it work". and i guess that's true if i'm willing to be with someone who i'm not attracted to or who doesn't seem to like my friends or who tells me to "calm down". but i'm not. right?

i think my problem is that i am not truly honest with myself. i don't want to give up the "amazing guy" for a reason i see as petty. when in actuality, it is the one thing that would completely ruin the relationship. so i guess what i'm saying is that i do know when it's not going to work out with someone, i'm just too much of a pussy to face up and let go...or let someone down. once i man up and figure out how to do this, i think i'll be much happier. and i may even consider dating again.

(although i've never really liked it anyway and may try to find a way around the whole damn thing.)
posted by the 'naut 3:11 PM

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

 
(they're baa-aack)

so basketball is back. which means the mavericks are back. which means that i am happy once again.

even though we lost to the kobe-less lakers last night. damn kryptonite.
posted by the 'naut 11:07 AM

 
(i have a big mouth)

you know when you drink a lot and the next day things that you said the night before slowly come back to you? well, i'm having one of those moments. maybe i should just stop drinking and avoid this post-drunk anxiety fun...

at least until friday. cause, party, hello?
posted by the 'naut 10:38 AM

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

 
(sadness)

i just read on ken's blog (because i don't watch/read/listen to the news) that elliott smith committed suicide last night. this is overwhelmingly sad for me. i don't know what it was like when kurt cobain died, but i've read about it and heard about it and i understand that this is nothing like that. but maybe a little?

i want to call everyone i know. but i can't get a hold of my brother and i never seem to catch blacker and i no longer speak to the one guy that i know absolutely loved him. and now, i can't seem to think of many more who would even care to discuss it.

so, i guess i'll read the articles (that tell me nothing). think about what a great artist he was. go home. and listen to either/or.

by the way harvard--thanks for being my oneandonly commiseratee/er.
posted by the 'naut 1:27 PM

Monday, October 20, 2003

 
(helpplease)

every year i try to nip this halloween thing in the bud. get my costume all picked out, any accessories/props chosen. yet every year i end up costumeless and clueless. so...why don't you people tell me what to be this year. we have 11 days to crack this. (and if you can think of an inexpensive way for me to be "the bride" from kill bill i'd really appreciate it.)

ready? go.

posted by the 'naut 2:20 PM

Thursday, October 09, 2003

 
(thank you)

just wanted to give a shout out to the best brother in the world. mine. thank you matt for bringing me orange juice and dayquil and nyquil and soup and a trashy magazine. all things to help me feel better. and guess what...

i do. you rock.
posted by the 'naut 1:28 PM

 
(i asked him..)

..what he was doing this weekend but he didn't answer. maybe he didn't hear. i didn't want to push it so i shut up.

i think that i decided this morning that if he doesn't call me again, that i would be okay with that. which is a huge breakthrough for me being as usually if i go out with a guy and we get along and there's a really great kiss goodnight---i would freak out if he didn't call.

of course i think that i'm being a little rash with this decision seeing as it's only been a day since we went out.

what's the rule on calling after a date anyhow?

posted by the 'naut 10:24 AM

Friday, October 03, 2003

 
(stupid dream)

had a dream last night. i was attacked by birds. but it was kind of my fault. wait a second...no it wasn't! i was just trying to feed them. what the hell?

and they were vicious too. swooping at my hands and my head. at one point i just chucked the bag of seed and watched them violently peck at the ground it lay on and then fly off with the entire bag. greedy bastards.

this is what the dream website had to say:
Attack
To dream that you are being attacked by an animal, is a warning to be careful with those around you. Take notice on who you know in your waking life that shares and exhibits the same qualities of the animal that attacked you in your dream.

so all you bird like people...stay away.
posted by the 'naut 1:11 PM