Friday, August 06, 2004

 
(countdown)

11 days of work
25 days until departure

posted by the 'naut 1:37 PM

 
(i hate people)

so there's a huge dent in my car. a new dent. a brand freakin' new dent. because apparently somebody thought it would be fun to side swipe me, or possibly ram into me, as they left the red lion last night. i experienced a plethora of emotions upon seeing the gash. that which included but are not limited to: anger (what the hell?) regret (i should know better than to park in a bar parking lot) frustration (argh) stupidity (is that an emotion?) and sadness (poor little blue). and you know it's bad when you can see the damage in the dark. i'd rather have discovered it this morning--then it would have been more like "oh, that sucks. but at least you can't see it in the dark. ce'st la vie."

needless to say, i'm very upset. and the only thing that comforts me in the least is the thought that whatever hit me (they don't deserve to be a whoever) has it coming. hit and run. that's just like bad karma waiting to happen. oh yes, one day my friend (and by friend i mean enemy) you will get yours.

this morning my mom asked me how bad it was. "is it the kind of dent that they can suck out? like with a vaccuum?" uh....mom....let me clarify what a vaccuum is....

also, props to ken for the comment of "well at least you weren't standing it that exact spot when it happened." ah yes, there always is a brighter side.

posted by the 'naut 1:05 PM

Thursday, August 05, 2004

 
(and...)

kettle corn is the BEST!

posted by the 'naut 1:46 PM

 
(blame canada!)

i am going to vancouver this weekend. i am excited about this for multiple reasons:

1) i get to see my bro who will be finished with school and ready to devote my 4 day trip to me.
2) i hear nothing but goodness of vancouver.
3) i do not have to work monday or tuesday.
4) i finally get to meet some canadians.

posted by the 'naut 1:37 PM

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

 
(so here's my question...)

if somebody makes you feel a certain way, good or bad, do you tell them? do you tell them even though there might be a risk of rejection? or a chance you might hurt their feelings? or the possibility of making them super mad at you? or resentful toward you? do you take that risk so that it's all on the table? so that they can see how what they say or do makes you feel? and how that might make others feel? do you tell them because honesty is the best policy? or do you not tell them and drive yourself insane thinking about telling them?

posted by the 'naut 5:19 PM

 
(recovery)

so after a long week of actually doing stuff i'm ready to go back to my old lady ways. i got home from work yesterday, changed into my t-shirt and shorts with every intention to take a jog. that intention didn't last too long. next thing i knew it was 8pm. time for dinner. after dinner i came to the conclusion that it was time for bed. so either i'm extremely lazy or i have mono.

i did start a new book though...the lovely bones. it's gonna be good.

posted by the 'naut 4:55 PM

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

 
(plans)

i have a friend in town. she's my best friend from junior high. odd really. she's the one friend i never thought would visit me in l.a. but here she is. well... there she is, sitting at my house, waiting for me to get home from work. poor thing. anyway, i've thought of all these things to do: mann's chinese, the beach, sunset blvd, the hollywood sign, etc. but i just can't get motivated to do any of them. i don't want to. i've done the tourist scene. plenty. and frankly i'm burnt out. i can't wait 'til i'm back in dallas where there is nothing to see or do.

everyone should come visit then. it'll be great!

posted by the 'naut 1:20 PM

Thursday, July 15, 2004

 
(in my dreams)

it feels like just yesterday that me and my boyfriend, steve nash, were travelling overseas while he was on summer break. he was concerned about the upcoming negotiations. he really wanted to stay with the mavs but was anxious that his filthy, scheming, down right dirty agent bill would persuade him otherwise. not that he was totally opposed to going back to phoenix, he does have many friends there, but he has grown really close to mark and dirk and would hate to leave them. and though the weather is g-ross, i told him that i would follow him wherever he chose to go. i can transfer within the company and just want to see him happy. july 1st was a hard day for him. when mark and donnie showed up that morning i thought that they were all going to break into tears. i tried to keep out of the way and when they finally left i bounded into the living room to see what the decision had been. only to be shot down with a nasty "we have other offers to consider" from bill. he hardly let us be alone that afternoon and around 5pm the doorbell rang. i was very surprised to open the door to amare stoudemire, howard eisley and a few other guys i didn't recognize. the rest of the night was a blur and the next thing i remember was steve crawling into bed whispering that it was phoenix by a mil. my heart fell a little and i called mark the next day to share my regret and sorrow. he was very understanding and sweet. i'll miss that guy. maybe phoenix won't be that bad...but who am i kidding? i'm gonna be miserable.

(this post is his fault. and a small case of toomuchtimeonmyhands.)
posted by the 'naut 11:35 AM

Friday, July 09, 2004

 
(current events)

so i have to say that i'm happy for my brother, who is making this incredible move to further his life, be happier, etc, etc. right? because i'm related and therefore obligated to be supportive and all that. well, maybe i'll say that i am. put on a front. say that it's an exciting and great opportunity. smile and wish him good luck. but what i'm actually feeling today, and for the past three days of packing and cleaning his apartment, is that i don't want him to go. there's not one bone in my body that feels he should leave me here. all alone. abandon me in the ocean among the sharks...

then i think about how selfish that is. how me wanting him to stay and live a monotonous and unfulfilling life, just so i don't have to be "alone" is possibly the most selfish i've ever been. (i'm sure i'm forgetting something 'cause surely i've been worse) but this is for the best. i know it. deep down. i do. and i'll keep saying it until i truly believe it. which i do.

most of all i'm proud of him. for being brave and courageous. and for showing us all that life can, and should, be lived to the fullest.
posted by the 'naut 2:45 PM

Thursday, July 01, 2004

 
(fourth)

i have no plans for the fourth. once again i've left it to the last minute. i'm more excited for the sleeping in on monday. god bless america!
posted by the 'naut 5:08 PM

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

 
(gone)

my days have been filled with work and basketball. not much else. except for horse races and soccer. and my boss' daughters dance recital (which surprisingly i offered to go to and surprisingly i enjoyed). oh, and i've been summoned for jury duty. i've never served and though i'd like to keep it that way, i'm not one to shirk my civil responsibilities. of course i've never voted so i guess sometimes i might shirk. am i even using that word correctly? i just like it. a friend and i have tickets to (2) concerts. real concerts. i'll see more live music this summer than i have in the past three years. which is pretty sad since i've been living in l.a. where there's lots of live and often good music to be heard. guess it's just not my "thing". i'm going to magic mountain this sunday--which is also fathers day in case any of you with fathers had forgotten. trying to plan a trip to san diego since i've never been and i work for a hotel so i can get pretty good rates. oh, and i've made a really huge decision which i am not at liberty to speak about because i need to work out some details and tell some people personally. it's not the kind of thing they would appreciate reading on a blog...other than that, i've not been up to much.
posted by the 'naut 9:22 AM

Thursday, May 06, 2004

 
(but...)

the spurs are 2-0. hells yah.
posted by the 'naut 4:42 PM

 
(i am back)

so i've been back for a while now, despite the lack of writing. upon my return to work i was slammed with things that didn't get done while i was away. they just simply piled work on my desk. for two weeks. shortly after my return to work i was thrown into the deep end while one of my managers went on vacation. now don't get me wrong, this is an amazing opportunity and i am more than ecstatic to handle all of her groups while she was away, but it is a lot of work. time and energy consuming. i also haven't been too excited about being back in the states. i can't think of much worse than coming home from an amazing holiday and not having anyone to pick you up. the person i thought was coming never showed. and every car i saw that looked familiar made my little heart flutter--until i realized i did not know the person driving and was sad again. i finally called matt and made him get out of his bed to come pick me up. that whole day was pretty depressing. and since then i've just been...well....around.
posted by the 'naut 4:40 PM

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

 
(goodbye)

i'm sitting in the very posh hotel room that i've been staying at for the past five days, thinking about the packing that i need to do and whether or not i want to go out in the overcast weather for a last minute souvenier. matt left this morning at around 6am so it's just me for the next few hours. i'm not even sure i have a ride home from the airport. kind of a depressing thought.

i don't think that i'm ready to go. i don't wanna go.
posted by the 'naut 2:15 AM

Friday, April 09, 2004

 
(when in rome...)

or london. or amsterdam. i've done a lot. and a lot has done me. i'm not going to elaborate at this time b/c at any moment matt is going to come tearing out of the bathroom (toilet, sorry) demanding that we leave the hotel room and enjoy the one beautiful day that the uk has decided to grant us.

we're going to see when harry met sally tonight. i'm very excited for that. and i swear i saw the star (willow) yesterday outside the hotel walking her dog...okay, more later...here he comes....
posted by the 'naut 8:52 AM

Friday, March 26, 2004

 
(last night...)

i met him.

cool huh?
posted by the 'naut 11:05 AM

Monday, March 22, 2004

 
(only in l.a.)

do i watch a movie and swear i've met the lead.
posted by the 'naut 3:28 PM

 
(not a review)

i can't review the two movies i saw this weekend, because, well, i just can't. i will tell you that the horror flick that i convinced and then dragged my friends to on friday night was exactly what i wanted. well, almost. it lacked a certain thrill factor that i was craving. it had the blood and the scary eyed zombies, it even had some bad-ass car crashes. but dawn of the dead just didn't live up to my zombie movie expectations. i knew going into it that it wouldn't be as good as 28 days later, i knew this, yet i still partially believed that i might jump at every small glance i had of the "deadish" creatures. there was comedy though, which always helps. one guy was freaking hilarious. while another was really horrible. when the 4 abandoned stars finally reach the mall this security dick holds them hostage instead of having them all work together and figure out a plan. is that really what people might be like lest the dead walk the earth? i think that was the truly scary part. that and sitting on the second row. at the bridge.

then there was ESSM. a beautifully directed, acted and shot film. once again, mr. kaufman amazes. erasure. i spent most of the movie just trying to wrap my head around the idea of this possibility. that and the thought that maybe people would erase their old loves, their friends, maybe even their families. was someone wishing that they could erase me? i watched it with childish wonderment. wanting to know jim carrey. not as his pathetic whiney joel, but as jim carrey. he's fucking brilliant. and i swear kate has done an american accent before. i just swear it. but over crepes, post movie, i couldn't think of a single movie she had done non-british. matt says he didn't think there was a bigger message. but that's all i saw--the bigger message. no matter how much it hurts, you can't rid of your memories. you take the good with the bad and that's what makes us who we are.
posted by the 'naut 2:01 PM

Thursday, March 18, 2004

 
(the d.a.)

i'm not usually a fan of the crime/law-dramas on television. in fact i watch very little t.v. the apprentice is my favorite right now. and america's next top model ain't bad either. but while watching the green mile on abc the other night (btw, thank you abc for showing me a movie i always sorta wanted to see, but would never rent) there was an ad at every break for this new show, the d.a. and surprisingly, i'm interested. i want to see this new steven webber show. with sarah paulson and the girl from sports night. i want to see how they prosecute in los angeles. i want to see crime.

there's only one catch. it's on friday nights. and that's just no good for me. what were they thinking?
posted by the 'naut 11:27 AM

 
(this'll have to do)

thanks harv.
posted by the 'naut 10:53 AM

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

 
(london)

i leave for london in two weeks. though almost all of my original reasons and plans for this trip have changed, i'm surprisingly okay. a little sad that i won't be seeing someone i thought i would. and still a little bummed that my crazy girlfriend won't be there to go "clubbing" with. but shit man, it's fucking london.

what i need is an idea of places to go. things to do. shit to see. so, if you've ever been or maybe you just saw agent cody banks 2, please tell me how i should spend what will hopefully be 14 of the most amazing days of my life.
posted by the 'naut 10:10 AM

Monday, March 15, 2004

 
(favorite sightings of the weekend)

-a cold frosty beverage at baja cantina.
-matt's wicked nasty basketball battle wound.
-jennifer aniston coming out of the restroom at kings road.
-my bed.
-eli talking to lots of girls at the chalet. wingmanless.
-the pistons holding their 5th team in a row under 70.
-my beautiful, beautiful mavericks kicking some clipper ass.
posted by the 'naut 11:50 AM

Friday, March 12, 2004

 
That there
That's not me
I go
Where I please
I walk through walls
I float down the Liffey
I'm not here
This isn't happening
I'm not here
I'm not here

In a little while
I'll be gone
The moment's already passed
Yeah it's gone
And I'm not here
This isn't happening
I'm not here
I'm not here

Strobe lights and blown speakers
Fireworks and hurricanes
I'm not here
This isn't happening
I'm not here
I'm not here

posted by the 'naut 12:37 PM

 
(going bald)

i feel like i'm losing friends. i've been here three years and i've managed to make some really kick ass friends. but in the past four months or so i've managed to alienate two of the best ones. now i'm walking on eggshells around the few i've yet to "hurt" or "take advantage of". talk about depressing. i've resigned to letting one completely go. telling myself it truly wasn't my fault. that they're just too sensitive. but now, now that there's a second one, i'm kind of concerned. maybe it is me. maybe i'm not as good of a friend as i thought i was.

i don't know. there doesn't seem to be anything i can do. just make new friends and try not to drive them away. maybe i need to read that book about winning and influencing. or maybe i should just retreat. if i'm not trying then i can't really lose, right?

i have a few left. really good ones. but the numbers have drastically dropped. but like someone once said: "i'd rather be loved by a few than liked by many."
posted by the 'naut 11:00 AM

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

 
(the bane of mail)

alright, i used to be a bit of a tattle when i was young-er, but i'd like to think that i've come a long way. turns out...i haven't. i share the duty of picking up and distributing mail (a task that makes me feel useless and used) with three other girls in the office. but often times they "forget" that it's their day and i, like the nerd that i am, will do it for them. but today, i had enough. it took me 45 minutes on monday to distribute the mail. a big chunk of my time wasted. so today, when it was 5pm and no one had done the mail, i tattled.

stupid heads got an email. a stern one. i hope they learn their lesson.

i also hope they don't give me a wedgie.
posted by the 'naut 5:22 PM

Sunday, March 07, 2004

 
(a birthday)

i had a really great birthday. i'll kick off my thanks to my mom, who drove 2 days just to be with me and to tell me that it'll all be okay. much needed. much. then there's my brother. you freaking rock. and not just the ordinary rock. the "super duper kick ass you're the best brother in the world" rock. i love you. and all the friends--this would include ashley (though you drive me insane), raf, summer, ben, eli, lex, steve, kevin, todd, brian (short but sweet), ali, and all the rest--even the ones i didn't know- who made my party...a P-A-R-T-Y! and last but certainly not least (but obviously he doesn't feel this is true), kenneth bodden. thank you. thank you for the keg, and the bong, and the drinking games. thank you for taking time out of your life for me. thank you for all that you do. thank you.
posted by the 'naut 4:46 PM