Wednesday, July 28, 2004

 
(plans)

i have a friend in town. she's my best friend from junior high. odd really. she's the one friend i never thought would visit me in l.a. but here she is. well... there she is, sitting at my house, waiting for me to get home from work. poor thing. anyway, i've thought of all these things to do: mann's chinese, the beach, sunset blvd, the hollywood sign, etc. but i just can't get motivated to do any of them. i don't want to. i've done the tourist scene. plenty. and frankly i'm burnt out. i can't wait 'til i'm back in dallas where there is nothing to see or do.

everyone should come visit then. it'll be great!

posted by the 'naut 1:20 PM

Thursday, July 15, 2004

 
(in my dreams)

it feels like just yesterday that me and my boyfriend, steve nash, were travelling overseas while he was on summer break. he was concerned about the upcoming negotiations. he really wanted to stay with the mavs but was anxious that his filthy, scheming, down right dirty agent bill would persuade him otherwise. not that he was totally opposed to going back to phoenix, he does have many friends there, but he has grown really close to mark and dirk and would hate to leave them. and though the weather is g-ross, i told him that i would follow him wherever he chose to go. i can transfer within the company and just want to see him happy. july 1st was a hard day for him. when mark and donnie showed up that morning i thought that they were all going to break into tears. i tried to keep out of the way and when they finally left i bounded into the living room to see what the decision had been. only to be shot down with a nasty "we have other offers to consider" from bill. he hardly let us be alone that afternoon and around 5pm the doorbell rang. i was very surprised to open the door to amare stoudemire, howard eisley and a few other guys i didn't recognize. the rest of the night was a blur and the next thing i remember was steve crawling into bed whispering that it was phoenix by a mil. my heart fell a little and i called mark the next day to share my regret and sorrow. he was very understanding and sweet. i'll miss that guy. maybe phoenix won't be that bad...but who am i kidding? i'm gonna be miserable.

(this post is his fault. and a small case of toomuchtimeonmyhands.)
posted by the 'naut 11:35 AM

Friday, July 09, 2004

 
(current events)

so i have to say that i'm happy for my brother, who is making this incredible move to further his life, be happier, etc, etc. right? because i'm related and therefore obligated to be supportive and all that. well, maybe i'll say that i am. put on a front. say that it's an exciting and great opportunity. smile and wish him good luck. but what i'm actually feeling today, and for the past three days of packing and cleaning his apartment, is that i don't want him to go. there's not one bone in my body that feels he should leave me here. all alone. abandon me in the ocean among the sharks...

then i think about how selfish that is. how me wanting him to stay and live a monotonous and unfulfilling life, just so i don't have to be "alone" is possibly the most selfish i've ever been. (i'm sure i'm forgetting something 'cause surely i've been worse) but this is for the best. i know it. deep down. i do. and i'll keep saying it until i truly believe it. which i do.

most of all i'm proud of him. for being brave and courageous. and for showing us all that life can, and should, be lived to the fullest.
posted by the 'naut 2:45 PM

Thursday, July 01, 2004

 
(fourth)

i have no plans for the fourth. once again i've left it to the last minute. i'm more excited for the sleeping in on monday. god bless america!
posted by the 'naut 5:08 PM